Gonna Make This Garden Grow

Earlier this week, I felt a sudden urge to connect the dots between last year's travels and my current life. If I wait much longer, the urge will fade and then reappear too late for me to remember it enough. So I think I'm ready to tell those stories now. And to keep myself in the background. This may be my last post on Korea for a little while, so I will gather experiences in the meantime.

Winter has bid us goodbye, not to return for a good six months. It's hard to believe it. Soon it will be summer swelter. I'll be super glad not to live in heat-rising-from-the-pavement Seoul. At the Lille house in April last year, we painted this on our garden wall:

To me, this is as much about cultivating a healthy spirit as healthy soil. Despite many setbacks, I'm still working on this goal. I love Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie's 1981 version of "The Garden Song" and I like to play and sing it a lot during this time. Only this year, I haven't had the opportunity. I taught it to my French students, but haven't yet found a way to incorporate it into a lesson this year. It's somewhat ironic that I had a big beautiful garden in the middle of the city, but not in a rural mountain town.

Nevertheless, kale and mustard leaf seeds are sprouting on my balcony. Every time I pass fields with old Korean men and women digging in the soil, I want to jump off my bike, out of the bus, off the train to kick off my shoes and join them. But I also know that many of them have been working the land all their lives and their backs are permanently stooped because of it. As mentioned before, Gangwon-do may be known as the province of backwards farmers, but they're not actually producing much. This land is not food friendly and needs lots of work. So I gathered together all the possible options for WWOOFing in this and other parts of Korea. I've decided that I will devote as much of my summer vacation to it as possible, which should be at least 2 weeks. A stay on Jeju island sounds like the most intriguing option, especially if I can bike down there to catch the ferry. However, since I'll be at the Jisan Valley Rock Festival for the last weekend in July, it may make more sense to find a farming community around the west or northwest before heading south for a while.

Last week I did Earth Day lessons. Some were more successful than others, because they were extra burnt out from studying for midterms this week. Besides learning "Big Yellow Taxi" - they got to laugh at Joni's voice - I had them make "My Earth" books, with some cool results. The challenge of teaching low-level high school English is finding activities that are both age and level appropriate. Artistic projects seem to always be a win, except when they're super tired. I get to see their different personalities come out through creative expression. Plus, I like seeing what the kids are aware of in terms of environmental problems. Using less detergent and shampoo and a focus on picking up trash surprised me a bit. I even got an anonymous text over the weekend - I did one lesson where some students had to guess my phone number - asking me the name of the "song about the environment." That made me smile.

I haven't gone on many decent bike rides in the past two weeks, unfortunately. Last weekend, it rained like crazy so a BBQ was cancelled but since I had the bus ticket, I still decided to head to Chuncheon, Gangwon's province capital. An hour by train to Seoul, this is a decent-sized but not-too-crazy "lake" city, with tons of bike paths. I itch to go back there on two wheels. Besides walking down to the lake, the best part was staying at the big 찜질방- the infamous elaborate Korean sauna where we all get naked together. But separately. It was a spontaneous decision after walking too long in the rain and it was funny to be the only foreigner, getting stared down. Ha ha. I went in the early evening and the wake-up call is around 8 a.m. so the next time I will go to some town and spend the day there. I wanted to stay for hours in those heated baths, even surrounded by chatting naked Korean women of all ages, sizes and backgrounds. And curling up on a mat in PJs. Most awkward moment was waking up next to a random middle-aged Korean guy at 3 a.m., probably drunk. Stealthily creeped downstairs and found myself a nice replacement mat. I had dreams about farming in New Zealand and awoke to a nice program about the Caribbean. 

We had even nicer weather this past weekend and I ended up at a famous festival in Yeongwol with my bike which quickly turned into a drive and lovely steep walk up to Hwanseong Cave, clear the other direction near the Samcheok coast. This is the biggest limestone cave in Korea, but we enjoyed the journey there and the surroundings most of all. For the Koreans I've seen, enjoying the outdoors is no casual matter - you gotta dress the part, bright pants and jackets, visors and hiking poles, even on a hot day. And you can get cheap, delicious and relatively healthy food and cold beers wherever you go.

Major bonus points for that. The day ended with a night on the town in Yeongwol, where I had my fill of late-night drunken conversations with Western guys, surrounded by partying Korean college kids. I always like to argue with guys, especially when they get to talking about how it's "natural" to dominate women, but it's also interesting to be in on those talks.

This week, midterms mean I have virtually no classes but still have to come to work. Time to brush up on Korean, play basketball on the courts, and...not go to Seoul for May Day. :(

A friend of mine expresses herself through short comics instead of long-winded posts. I wish I had a talent like that. Mostly, things are going well, but as an INFP personality, there is a world on the surface and then there is a whole 'nother world below the surface. That internal world tends to take over a lot and it is there that I'll find nagging discontent and a need to go beyond just the way things are. This week, I also began to have the old spring freakout. You know what I'm talking about. Restlessness. Less sleep. Desire to jump up and down and all around...and frolic through fields...and get touchy with beautiful people.











I came to Korea for more teaching experience, saving money, getting away from city life and experiencing a new culture. While it's certainly meeting all of those expectations, I'm not sure it's what I actually want, as opposed to telling myself it's what I want. My happiest moments have come from staying in a big house with several people and a big garden, riding my bike all the time, cooking, eating and sharing tons of vegan/vegetarian food, having a decent job, lots of places to explore, live music and community events. Instead of moving towards this ideal lifestyle, it seems I keep purposely moving away from it. For what exactly? Financial security? A constant need for changing location? Nevertheless, I'm sticking it out and seeing what it has in store. It may, in the end, prove to be the best adventure yet.

Springtime Lessons

"What if it's broken?" Korean English at Family Mart

Even on a hilltop in the middle of nowhere, you still gotta work out.

After a winter revival in the first week in April, we suddenly had a lovely warm weekend and I obviously took my new two-wheeled friend out for several spins. Korean roads are pretty well kept, even in these rural parts, and long-distance trains and buses comfortably take them on board.

Samcheok

The freedom I feel on a bicycle, especially a quality one that doesn't hurt to ride, is just about unbeatable. Paved open mountain roads around my town. Coastal roads and the beach. On Sunday night, an insane solo 20 kilometer night ride from Taebaek, the smallest city in Korea. Only in motion do I feel truly alive. (But I wouldn't do the last one again. The 2.5 km tunnel near Gohan is deafening and nearly suffocating.)

Despite my good distance endurance for cycling, Taekwando and the weight training that comes with it are beginning to seriously kick my ass. Though an active person, I've never put a high priority on physical fitness and with mirrors all around, I suddenly feel more self-conscious than ever about my body. Realizing my own weaknesses only makes me push harder. A weekly regimen of stretching, yoga, Taekwando, weights and cycling comes on top of teaching, writing, cooking, reflecting. Good for mind and soul as well.

Samcheok

And What About the Language?

Really buckling down and learning Korean would definitely help to become more connected with my new home. Certainly, when I watch the Talk to me in Korean early videos now, I feel like I've gone from zero to basic understanding in a rather short amount of time. It's a well-known fact that most native English teachers, even those who stay here several years, don't go beyond the bare bones of reading Hangeul and basic phrases to greet, order at restaurants, etc. And then there's those who go above and beyond what could be expected in just a year or two. I'm trying my best to take it one step at a time and not feel guilty that my preferred method - absorbing language through listening - is not really "studying." After all, the Asian continent, cultures and language families are a whole new world to me, even as a polyglot. And speaking a language is not the same as doing well in sports or something - it's a skill only measured by how well you can communicate.

Samcheok

"You Need to Give Them Motivation To Learn English"
After I took the initiative to ask why students weren't participating much in my conversation classes, my coteachers spoke with them and found out why. Yes, I understand the motivation thing. I'm beginning to understand that Korean students are bludgeoned by tests, tests, tests, grades, grades, grades, study, study, study all the time. So they're too tired to be self-motivated for just about anything except pop music, computer games, looks. That's not fair and a huge generalization, of course, but generalizations can be somewhat true. Anyway, they are super-competitive with each other, so speaking up in class and making a mistake means getting laughed at which is a big no-no. So I shouldn't correct their mistakes, I should just let their English level stay low - as long as they can half-communicate with me, no problem. No, that's not the right attitude, I know. I'm nowhere near the first or last EFL teacher in Korean to come face-to-face with the basic problem of teaching English in a country with an insane education system that is probably failing its kids. My job is to take it seriously by not taking it seriously. Working to make class fun. Smiling and laughing with my students even when no one feels like smiling or laughing. Not caring if they talk in Korean 75% of the time, as long as they learn something.

Identity Update

If I drink less and talk less, maybe I won't get into inane political or intellectual conversations at the wrong time and the wrong place. Maybe I won't lose friendships before they even got off the ground. Every time I socialize, I try to tell myself to work harder to make up for the mistakes I made last time. As though people are keeping a running tally of the stupid things I've said, my awkwardness, my inability to show myself in the best light. Every time I am accidentally late, or don't answer my phone, or go on too long about a serious topic, I feel that I am chipping away at something. I'm no longer the fun, positive person I'd like to be all the time. I'm that weird, moody, unrelate-able person.

So, no positive updates on changing identity as of yet. Though I have had some beautiful moments over the past few weeks. The highs and the lows could be drawn as close-together steep hills. The highs are usually tied to nature or one-on-one interactions. They lows are usually tied to a night of drinking, coupled with rambling, followed by moodiness and grogginess the next morning. But if I stop drinking, I stop going out. Dilemma.

Land Musings

In Korea, especially Gangwon province, gardening is all the rage. I don't mean young cool people into sustainability and all that jazz. The soil is so rocky in these parts and fertile land so hard to come by that people will turn just about ANY piece of land into a garden. Just in the small niche comprising our apartment complex, snack shops and the middle and high school, there are random veggie beds that are just beginning to sprout. The principal's house has a rather large section and it turns out that, for me, garden patch accessibility is too good to be true. The weather was amazing and I decided to get my hands dirty in the soil. I later learned a Korean teacher has dibs on that plot and the farmer next to my apartment also doesn't have space available. I feel bad about accidentally digging up someone's precious land like that, but maybe it will lead to more communication about gardening in the future. So, I will be starting seeds on my balcony instead and looking for some land later.


And I'm still on the WWOOF mission. I'm trying to gather information about alternative farming communities in Korea and so far I've come across just a few resources, for example: here. There seems to be a Natural Farming movement/practice here, which correlates with Fukuoka, whom I learned about in Greece. Despite learning and absorbing a lot of information and some hands-on experience, I'm still a beginner gardener and feel sort of guilty about that. Why is it taking me so long to get the initiative to do something as simple as planting leafy greens on my balcony? I remember how nice it was to grow my red pepper alongside my roommates' plants in Boston summer '09, but after that, I can't say I've done too much in the way of independent gardening. I'm changing that now too. I intend to be a full-fledged grower within the next few years. Passion must become action.

So, finally, I have a whole lot of different interests that require commitment to fully take root. It's up to each person to decide which activities will take priority. And not to beat herself up about what doesn't get done. It's only one life, after all.

Alive on Two Wheels & What Is Identity Part II

Before

After

Ahem. Ah, yes. The bike has arrived, within 2 days. The picture of the box would be better if it was  from the school administration office, where it first arrived. If only I had had the money to ride a road beauty like this in the ladies' bike gang in Houston. Or, just in Houston for that matter. I look forward to many good times with this lovely light machine, hopefully it can live up to being the best bike I've ever had. It's definitely big, but I still feel more comfortable than ever on it.

Today, despite my own deep ambivalence towards new technologies that disconnect us from each other, I decided to try out a cell phone photo project in class. You wouldn't know this was a relatively low-income region from the fact that just about all of my high schoolers have smart phones, nicer than anything I've ever had. Conspicuous consumption, or something. Anyway, I'm instructing a few of my higher level classes to collect a few cell phone pictures to put into slideshows, for which they will write and present descriptions. I'm taking this teaching thing way too seriously, it seems. Trying to be worth my salt, I guess.

OK, so what does this have to do with identity? My thoughts always sound better in my head than on the page. I live in a constant state of internal stress and creation of drama where none exists. If I can boil it down, it's stress about wanting to be the right person, all the time, in every situation. Impossible, of course. And because I can't focus enough to get it right at least once, I almost never feel like the right person. So creating drama helps to give imaginary meaning to a life that seems "not right" on its own, just as it is. The quest for deeper meaning : maybe that is my identity. The amount of pressure I put on myself to make life meaningful is only rivaled by the pressure I put on others. No wonder people, even close ones, soon grow tired of me.

If someone were to treat me the same way, I would go insane. But in fact, I have come very close to that edge a number of times over the past year. I've lost count of the relationships or mere casual acquaintances I have sacrificed to my unbending, unreal quest. Each time it happens, I am acutely aware and it hurts. It's former roommates, lovers, family members, people I've come across on the road. I can even pinpoint, in retrospect, at which moments my behavior became an annoyance. The problem is, so far I've lacked the ability to stop my heavy searching in its tracks before it runs over everything like an unwieldy freight train.

So as I seem to repeat like a broken record, Korea is the chance to change this fundamental part of my identity. How can the quest for meaning be used to harness positive energy?

I will update as I look for the answers.

Could Be A Country Thing, City Thing, Blues Thing

 Though I still love The Verve above all else, this is one of the better Richard Ashcroft singles:

Could be a country thing, could be a blues thing, could be a city thing...you take me from the madness, the awe-inspiring sadness...

I feel bursting with writing potential, but I'm not sure how much of it can even be expressed on the page. For the sake of keeping this space alive, I will try.

Could be a city thing...anywhere. But this is a piece of Seoul.

The first visit to Seoul happened this past weekend. In some moments, it's as though I'm reliving my early college days. With far less awkwardness, thankfully. Maybe a more adult kind of awkwardness, on second thought. The booze flows, the hours melt away, the bars and clubs pound away nothing  but dance-pop, but the 노래방 (noraebang) - literally, song room for karaoke - is a nice additional touch. I'm happy to party with new people, but in these moments, I especially miss the familiarity of getting sketchy with close friends. I flash back to Boston, 2 weekends in Montreal, select Parisian and Lillois nights.

After just a month away from big city lights and fast life, I was apprehensive going in. Fortunately, I love railroad travel and Korean trains are particularly high-tech and efficient, but still passing through beautiful mountainous parts. No transport strikes to be found here, Europe! At least not in this neck of the woods, as far as I can tell. From my Greek experience with screwing up train travel in a different language - and a screwed up train system - I've made myself quite paranoid here.

Pulling out of Gangwon on the Seoul train

Anticipation and mild anxiety about the upcoming trip put me in a more stressed and jittery than normal mood during the week. Psychologically, I am doing my best to keep grounded in this small town mountain life, train my brain and body to focus and be content with relative simplicity. I need it for my health. A trip to a wild, sprawling, life-pumping city like Seoul, with a menu of choices ranging from activism to parties to Western food to live music and beyond can be overwhelming, to say the least. Indeed, as soon as I stepped off the platform on Friday night - into a rainy mess at that - I felt the mad rush. Part of city cycling and walking means avoiding the rat tunnels of the subway. Of course, subways are useful and way more planet friendly than cars and buses, but I just can't stand being down there for more than short intervals. The Korean metro is clean and smell-free, unlike Paris or New York, but being packed in with the hurried crowds, the stale air and lack of daylight nearly makes me sick. How can millions of humans around the world live like this, spend so many hours underground?

And with a short stay at your first time in a big city, you get sucked in and scattered and you lose sight of anything you actually need to get done. I enjoyed staying at Grape Garden House in Hongdae, a really chill spot by travellers for travellers, and the added surprise of getting to know two other teachers throughout the weekend. Also, the Koreans who run the hostel know the "Empty Shop," apparently a radical space in Yongsan. That was my first trek on the bright Saturday morning - I found the space to be under renovation, but it made me really want to meet more alternative folks even more. Afterwards, I passed through the Itaewon foreigner shopping bubble but failed to get a phone or books as I tried to make the protest at the Chinese embassy for North Korean refugees. (more on that below) Unfortunately, all that was left was a swarm of cops, probably also related to the resistance against the widely publicized nuclear summit , attended by Obama. I was sort of disenchanted, but I chalked it up to being a lost first-time visitor and proceeded to enjoy the rest of the evening, stretching into six in the morning.

The Routine
Two of my female students have also become my chiropractors, along with the rest of the Taekwondo team in Sabuk. I knew I had lower back problems, but I didn't realize how bad they might be until The Master decided I would hurt myself if I didn't stretch the hell out of my back all the time. He proceeded to guide the girls to crush my spine and twist my neck. This may be a blessing in disguise, the key to getting me in really good shape. Except at the last class, I'm afraid I was too tired and didn't show the most positive attitude. Sometimes it's hard to pretend to smile. What if they actually kick me out? That will be quite the embarassment, but I suppose worse things have happened.

When in France, I started out stressed about lesson planning, but really let things slide and began maintaining a careless attitude about teaching, amounting to "I'm here, I smile and laugh with my students, it's all good." As I became more and more involved with outside activities, particularly the rambling soup kitchen, I somewhat lost sight of my most important role - an English teacher to French middle schoolers. Consequently, after leaving my job, I began dreaming about my former students and missing them intensely. I knew I hadn't done enough and being a transient assistant with a contract for less than the full academic year sure didn't help.

So, this time around, I'm really trying. I'm in class on time, every time - yes, believe it or not, this was not always the case before. What the hell was I thinking? That old careless attitude surely contributed to going crazy and losing even more self-esteem in the end. I work to get to know my Korean students. Besides having similar names and features and interests mainly consisting of K-pop, gaming and sports, this is a lovely bunch of high schoolers, extremely overworked, sleep-deprived and some with family alcoholism and abuse. (This is Kangwon Land town, after all. A few months ago, the students found a gambler Saturday morning who had hanged himself in front of their school the night before). I am slowly falling in love with them.

Lightness and Weight

Lightness vs. weight is a life theme, something that has only struck me over time since reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being, leading me to reread the novel. The contrast could be reflected in the city vs. the countryside, productivity vs.  playfulness, staying in one place vs. staying on the road, among many things. Particularly for constant travellers, it really strikes a chord. Right now, I'm thinking about it in terms of rising up vs. living peacefully.

I stumbled on some good bits in the book, which takes place in Prague, small town Czechoslovakia, Geneva and Zurich during and immediately following the 1968 Prague Spring, crushed by Russian tanks. Sabine, a Czech expat artist in Switzerland, feels uncomfortable around some fellow Czech expats, French friends and a Swiss lover because of their romanticizing oppression and the need for revolution. When Kundera describes Sabine's lover's infatuation with European street demonstrations, I have to laugh in recognition. "And so as long as he lived in Paris, he took part in every possible demonstration. How nice it was to celebrate something, demand something, protest against something ; to be out in the open, to be with others."

As described in an older entry, I arrived in France in the fall of 2010, at the height of the popular uprising against the reforme des retraites, Sarkozy's retirement reform laws. Of course, it was marvelous to be having lunch in the middle of Lille on a general strike day and watching the procession march through the streets. It made me feel alive, excited to be part of this new community and the way in which protests connect people and become social events. Lille, a particularly strong worker and activist stronghold, has no shortage of them and I spent a good many afternoons alongside teachers and anarchists protesting the retirement reforms, nuclear energy, cyclist deaths, etc. In fact, crazy as I was, I genuinely made myself feel guilty if I missed a protest.

Indeed, throughout many European cities, millions of folks love nothing more than a good street demo, despite the millions of others who wish the metro and buses weren't shut down again and they didn't have to walk to work. I do and probably always will support popular uprisings and their potential to bring dialogue, performance art and radicalism into the streets. However, after a few years of participation and witnessing - let's be honest, as more of a tourist as anything because these were mostly not my struggles - I'm getting quickly fed up with the protest as simple spectacle. After catching a brief and embarassingly useless glimpse at the Calais front lines, I've slowly come to realize that real solidarity and on-the-ground activism is possible and exists. But most people, understandably, just can't do it. It's too painful to come face-to-face with state violence, to push up against the hard brick wall that is fighting for a better world. At what point can you balance activism with a healthy life without going over the edge?

Two of the biggest current struggles on the Korean scene are the latest round of China's repatriation of North Korean refugees and the emerging U.S. naval base on Jeju. Of course, being in Seoul would put me in the middle of the resistance action, but I don't really want to be there. If I was, I know I would get sucked in somehow and continue chipping away at my stability. I will have to be content with support from a distance and occasional trips to the center. Lightness. Weight.

So to keep it real, I slowly read Ursula Le Guin's anarcha-feminist translation of The Tao (given to me by a dear Houston friend) and I try to comfort in passages such as:

"The return to the root 
is peace.
Peace: to accept what must be, 
to know what endures.
In that knowledge is wisdom.
Without it, ruin, disorder."

Could Be A Country Thing
In most places I've been, the countryside is dying. Dying economically and culturally and few people seem to want to revive it. This pains me, because as someone who has only recently discovered my profound discontent with city existence, prompting my need to even escape the summer 2011 Greek uprising, as partially described here.

Basically, I am constantly torn between a need for nature and a need for action. Why can't live music, community gardens, long bike rides, experimental art, alternative spaces and the like also happen outside of the city walls, on a larger scale? When I'm in the mountains, it's like an endless expanse and the city is like a closed snowglobe. Yet, the snowglobe pulsates with familiar life and possibilities. I imagine this inner conflict will never quite be resolved, but maybe someday the balance can be achieved.

 

Peace Is The Biggest Adventure

The Han River, in Jeongseon

I finished The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle last week. I was left with a lot of questions, but mostly a desire to read more Murakami and more strange fiction. A very dystopic view of modern Japan, but fascinating nonetheless. I was excited to get back into The Unbearable Lightness of Being, but now that I've started, it doesn't feel as good as rereading Kokoro, and it doesn't give me the same insight as I had years after the first read. The plot is not quite as an engaging as I remembered. Maybe lightness vs. weight is better as a life concept than as part of a story, or maybe somebody has done it better than Kundera. Or maybe still, I am growing tired of European fiction and becoming more interested in Asian authors. I'm a fan of the last conclusion.

Still Not Missing The City
Three excursions have gone down since I last wrote. Last Saturday, a bunch of us new teachers got a great deal on ski and snowboard equipment from a Korean acquaintance and spent the afternoon on the slopes at High 1 Resort. It was a warm sunny day and I had a more positive attitude on skis, despite fear and silly falls. I didn't get any photos in the snow 'cause I was afraid for my camera, but next winter will be here before we know it so I'll have plenty of opportunities to do it all again and better. I definitely want to try snowboarding as well, since so many people are experts here. Never thought I would be a winter sports enthusiast, but since we're in a prime location, might as well take advantage of it.

On Thursday, three of us finally made it to and from Jeongamsa Temple, by virtue of an English-speaking Korean gambler taking a taxi to a random sauna by the temple. We didn't stay long and didn't get all the way to the beautiful top of the hill because the paths have accumulated so much mud from rain mixed with melting snow.

I can't wait until blooming springtime to go up there again. It's a peaceful place, with monks and gong-banging and strange little Buddha figurines. I want to be even more peaceful next time, really experience the quiet and not just be one of the awkward tourists. My stupid camera always gives me away and I sometimes lack the courage to go places on my own, though I do quite a bit of that. On the way back, the bus was taking its sweet time so we decided to thumb down a car that turned out to be full of young Korean guys who squeezed us in - first random hitching in Korea, about 10 minutes ride.

This past weekend, I opted out of St. Patty's Day in Seoul and stayed in these parts. Despite the pervasive rain, exploring Jeongseon and getting to know people was a really chill time. It's nice to meet other EPIKers who are into nature, being active, good home-cooked food and learning Korean. Drinking still happens though.

Jeongseon 5-day Market

The coming weekend will see my first ever visit to Seoul. I am proud of myself for staying away from the distractions for so long and am now getting excited for what this enormous Asian metropolis has in store. I expect to be enveloped by this great city, yet feel ever more grateful for the return to the beloved mountains. I imagine a labyrinth of underground clubs, big public parks, hilltops and huge department and food stores.

Work, Work, Work
Next week, I will begin my new work hours, which will add a lot more teaching time to my week. I'm glad that I've already begun adapting to a good personal schedule, already getting to school by 8 a.m. and getting to bed by 11 p.m. I'm slowly falling in love with my students' presence, their laughter and bright personalities despite what must be their extreme fatigue. Things will probably change a lot next week and I hope to be even more productive, though more tired.

You Know It's True
This week, my head was buzzing with good vibes and I couldn't figure out why. I don't take this state of mind lightly because as most people will agree, I'm a person full of negativity and criticism about half the time. This is because I often feel threatened by many forces around me. My family is broken up, I'm constantly moving to new places where I have to explain myself to new people, dominant culture is oppressive to women, sensitive souls and dreamers.

Suddenly, I find myself in a place where none of this seems threatening. The liberation is mental and physical. I walk down the streets of my town, I go to school, I go out and I come home. No one gets angry at or belittles me or those I love. I have nothing to prove to anyone. And as much as I miss being around artists, activists, cyclists and concerts, I don't miss the undue stress I put on myself at all these times in the past few years. Maybe someday I can do what I love and remain comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes peace is the biggest adventure.

A wall representing the train line, Jeongseon

Pancakes at the market

Ubiquitous soybean and chili pots

The Wind-Up 'Girl' Chronicle?

My new home

I'm about to finish Murakami's 600-pager. It feels good to have the time and focus to read fiction again, especially epic fiction with crazy twists and turns. For a while, I was reading mostly political texts, if anything at all. Novels help to calm my fire, especially when traveling or relocating to a new place. Next, I'm going to reread the $3 ancient copy of The Unbearable Lightness of Being  that I found in a San Francisco used bookstore. It's true, I don't know when I will be able to lovingly rummage through one of those again.

Oh, that's right. I'm actually living in Korea! On Monday, February 27, tension and anxiety building, Gangwon-do-ers got our final town placements. Or rather, county placements. We unceremoniously shoved our luggage onto the buses once again and finally, we were off to our new lives out of the big city. I was so exhausted from the crazy week we had just endured, I mostly slept through the ride. In Yeongwol, we were met by our coteachers and whisked off to wherever it is we were going. In my case, a general teacher's conference all in Korean. Oh and a teacher introduction ceremony where you bow in front of everyone? That's cool, when you're in a daze.

The Teacher Goes To School

It's the beginning of March, so starts a new Korean school year which will run until the end of July. Little did I know, I would be teaching in a high school with only 150 students and 22 teachers. Not only that, but high school essay writing. Never heard of anyone doing this, so I treat myself as the guinea pig and roll with it. So far, I'm only scheduled for eight classes a week, which is technically supposed to expand to twenty-two hours. I'm spoiled with my very own classroom and office.

Classroom "Africa" 

My coteachers are lovely people, but since I only have a computer in the classroom, I don't get to see the other staff much. The infamous teacher's dinner went down on Monday night, with an entire restaurant taken up with tables. I ended up mostly babbling away in the English corner, slightly tipsy on soju, but nothing too eventful or embarrassing. Going out for food is always going to be an adventure in "what can I eat this time?" Oh there's plenty of tofu, yay! Oh, there's only rice and seaweed? Wish I had pre-eaten more. But, I like the food so I can't complain too much.

Thanks for the side dishes, 'cause the rest is BBQ

Where The Clean Air Comes From

Sabuk is the name of this small town. This isn't exactly what I would call the boonies, but we are nestled in the mountains, with amazing fresh air.  Just what I wanted in my landscape, but I didn't realize it would kind of come at cost. Not to me, but to the town itself. In the 1930s, this was a coal mining community that made the sky black. Eventually, they shut down the coal mines and Sabuk suffered massive unemployment. Now, this stands at the entrance to the town:

Welcome to Sabuk!

Kangwon Land Casino apparently creates a "healthy gambling culture" by giving people jobs and letting them gamble away their already meager life savings. The only casino open to Koreans! I haven't been inside the place itself, but I've heard horror stories. Maybe I'm cynical and should stop thinking about it, but coal for casino doesn't seem like an awesome trade to me, no matter how nice the air. Of course, coal is still heavily used here for heating, though maybe to a lesser degree now. I'm sure I will find out more about this somewhat sordid history as time goes on.



I'll Take a Quiet Life...

A series of firsts has begun in just a few short weeks: first time on the Asian continent, first time teaching high school, first time living in a rural area and first time living alone. These are not insignificant milestones, especially the last two. I needed to get out of the city so much, I dreamed about it. And no matter how lonely it gets here, the mountains and rivers and railroads will keep me company even in the lowest times. Spring is approaching and we had two really beautiful days that lifted up everyone's spirits. At lunchtime, I choose to go home and sit and listen to the stream under my window. 

View from my balcony, on a nice day

I make schedules, set goals, get enough sleep during the week and cook good food. Of course, this is the only the beginning and life could become more hectic, but that would be my own choice. I'm not a Korean teacher, so I don't work more than 40 hours a week. I'm not a Korean student who spends 14 hours a day in school, with self-study sessions going until 10 p.m. I have friends from orientation in neighboring towns that I can visit anytime and it's nowhere near the hurdle it was in Houston. And maybe best of all, I see my students everyday around town. They wave and say hi. They offer me snacks. Sometimes groups of teenage boys follow me and say weird things in English. Teenage boys are a frightening bunch - they're bigger than me! I'll start taking Taekwan-do soon to work off the nervous energy and keep myself more in shape. I've also got gardening in the works and soon soon soon I will get a bike! I can make life as familiar as I want it, even in this unknown territory. I feel extremely fortunate and mostly that I don't deserve what I'm getting for the little work that I do. Privilege. Class. Inequality. What can I do? It's still a beautiful experience. 

I Want More, Impossible To Ignore

I still want to volunteer on a farm. And travel around. And meet activists. But right now, the right thing may be to find out who I am, without all the frills and confusion. Finally, a year in Korea may give me this gift. 

A walk home in the falling snow

Inexplicably awesome mural by the school

From a bridge in Gohan

First Korean Impressions

I'm bad at putting up pictures here. And since getting here last night, I haven't found anything particularly picture worthy. They will appear though, little by little.

What is "here?" First it was the Incheon airport outside of Seoul, a 12-hour flight from San Francisco. Then it was a 3-hour night bus ride to Daejeon during which we glimpsed the rainbow-colored neon lights of Seoul and little else. My jet-lagged journal scribbles go a little like this:

I'm close to 25 and I still find myself on a group-organized, structured, middle-school like bus ride. We could be going to camp. Or a field trip to the zoo. But no, we are a collection of Westerners, mostly Americans, jetlagged, sleepy, newly arrived to a tiny Asian peninsula, racing on a freeway. Quite a different experience from being the only non-Bulgarian on a Eurolines bus. In a way, it's sort of comforting to know that I can fit both experiences within a short span of time, choosing one over the other. But yes, strangely, my last extended bus journey was Sofia-Paris, last June, before the Paris Critical Mass ride. I almost feel a sort of regression. From total unknown, unexplored territory to a predictable environment. How is that possible, in the Far East? I'm sure it will in fact change a lot and very soon.

We couldn't eat anything until after 11 this morning (!) because we had a medical check-up, complete with piss and blood test. Pretty invasive, and unlike in France, we didn't get to keep our chest X-rays!

Also, unlike in France - people are nice. Koreans are nice. They smile and ask how you are. They seem to want us here. I certainly welcome this change.

In the next few entries, I plan to write some thoughts about women, privilege and travel.

Now, off to more orientation business.

Last U.S. Days of 2012

I'm making a commitment to update this blog at least once a week for the rest of the year. Not an easy task, I'm sure, but since my mind is constantly working to keep straight an ever-expanding accumulation of interests, personal memories and world events, it seems that writing it out is the path to keeping sane. Also, I am about to embark on a whole new journey on a small Asian peninsula.

I left Houston one week ago. Being on the road again, even if it's actually flying in evil planes and actually staying in familiar family's houses, is what feels most like home. I've started journalling again in earnest, reading longwinded fiction in the form of Murakami's The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, using the beautiful & awesome new Slingshot to keep organized and learning basic Korean with the help of these badass Koreans.

In Denver, everything was covered in snow and huge icicles, a reminder that yes, it is still winter and I'll be in for a rude awakening in my new home. Also in Denver, my Russian-speaking grandfather remains largely the same and despite his being 60 years my senior, I can't help but call him out on statements like "Listen to a woman, do the opposite," "Humans are evil (or something)," "The East is a dark place," etc. etc.

Now I'm in the Bay Area, reconnecting with my cousins, college friend Michaela, and filmmaker Rob Nilsson. Rob and I had a pretty interesting conversation about art, politics & society today. It was sunny, I was in a good mood and I felt like taking the side of fighting the system by doing our own thing and not overly concerning ourselves with the system. On other days and depending on who I talk to, I'll take a far more critical and negative view of the situation radicals, especially radical artists, find themselves in. In general, though, my distaste for authority cuts through everything and I feel that putting some kind of artificial standards and rules on creative expression still does more harm than good.

Oakland and Berkeley have evolving resistance communities and I could spend years exploring them as I could Boston or Denver or Lille or Houston, but all I have is these few short days. The reality is, I will very soon be pulled away from all these familiar elements of life. There will be no readily accessible anarchist social spaces with books and consensus meetings and shows and vegan food. No regular community bike rides. No women's discussions. At least not in Gangwon-do, where I will spend the majority of my time. There will be a vast number of new places, people and memories that I can't even imagine as I sit here. No matter how much I absorb from books and the Internet, I could never adequately prepare myself for the massive change that is about to take place in my life. The biggest one yet.

Korea, take me in...

We Are The Dreamers of Dreams

In further psychological exploration, I went to bookstore of The Jung Center of Houston, a place that I had passed for years but never understood, seriously thought about or considered visiting. I was overwhelmed by all the books, as usual, so I decided to start with Jung's autobiography, which is really an account of Carl Jung's inner experiences, not a mere recounting of events as they occurred. In this sense, time and accuracy become far less important than feeling and reflection. 

I have a burning desire to write every day, but I rarely fulfill it.

Working at Target is like taking an anthropology class. Next week is the deadly Black Friday, or for us secret and not-so-secret anarchists and anti-capitalists, Buy Nothing Day. I will indeed be working the 10-hour overnight shift, 11:45-9:45. Fortunately, I am also pretty much opposed to the ritual celebration of Thanksgiving, so I'll try to get to a No Thanks dinner that night instead. Fortunately, my ass. I still want to spend time with my family and friends, not force myself to take sleeping pills during the day. Not only that, they put me on an early Saturday shift the next day. Why do I continue working there, one might ask? Why don't I get another job, or at least more work on top of it? Because I am tired and overwhelmed and only want to focus on getting to Korea. Excuses, excuses.

If I go to Korea in February, that will put my time in Houston at a full seven months, the same amount of time that I spent in the teaching assistant program. Such disparate back-to-back experiences, punctuated by an entirely different summer in Southeastern Europe. Not a day goes by that multiple, layered visions of other, wholly familiar and far-away places don't meander through my head.

I am trying to write a coherent entry, but I'm too upset by watching the Occupy Wall Street livestream. In the early hours of November 15, 2011, the United States' 21st century people's revolt is being thoroughly and violently crushed. We must stand in solidarity. "Peaceful protest" will not prevent violence, as we see again and again.  

http://occupywallst.org/