December 2010 - A Northern France Winter

December 2, 2010 

I'm sitting wrapped under a huge comforter in my big, nearly empty room, watching small flakes of snow cover the city of Lille outside my window. For some reason, I felt like listening to Pink Floyd's "The Wall" this morning. I'm supposed to be at an assistants' orientation meeting, but it's normally my day off from work, so I have better things to do. Like plan lessons. So here I am!

I can't believe winter is here already and that the year 2010 is drawing to a close. This has honestly been the most intense, challenging, rewarding and in some ways, most joyous year I've ever had. I remember how it started - in Boston, the snow having fallen all day long on New Year's Eve. (I had arrived just the night before from Houston and it was strangely warm.) An early morning walk to the liquor store, through the nearly silent falling snow. Staying in, cooking and chatting. And then later hopping from apartment to apartment, finally ending up on Litchfield St. in Lower Allston and staying up until 4 in the morning with loads of random and not-so random people. At the time, I was still living in the Cambridgeport house, trying to build up the courage to get the hell out. It was right in the middle of the drama. But, it was a NEW YEAR with new possibilities and I was on a high. I think we listened to Simon and Garfunkel's "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme" on vinyl. Beautiful.  

And I still had NO IDEA about all the unbelievable, overwhelming things that 2010 would bring. I didn't know that I would finally get the courage to come to a Sunday Food Not Bombs meal in Central Square, in the dead of winter. I had no idea that on a boring day in February, where I didn't leave the house at all, I would fill out the application that would lead to me moving into the Cambridge Coop in May. I didn't even know that my mother would get remarried that month. And that I would see my father get remarried and start a new family at the end of July. That I would get the crushing "waitlisted" email from the teaching assistant program in the beginning of April, forcing me to live in the present in Boston. That I would grow to love my job at Filmmakers' Collaborative so much and stay there right up until the end of August, just a few weeks before leaving for France. 

That I would have an AMAZING 3.5 months at the Cambridge Coop, transforming my life completely. That I would meet people that I may never have met otherwise. That I would become a regular Food Not Bombs volunteer and see the group put on a beautiful festival in the Boston Common at the end of May. That I would go to an anarchist conference and dance through the streets. That I would bike all the way to Walden Pond and swim there three times this summer. And finally, that getting the "you are accepted to the Academy of Lille" email at the end of June would tear me in half and force me to choose...when back after 2009 graduation, I was 100% sure that I wanted to leave Boston.

And now, I'm in France and I have no regrets at all. I did have a bout of homesickness in November, which is always a hard month for me. So many things have gone down in the past 1.5 month, some of which I can't write about here. Some wonderful, some painful, all unforgettable. Over Toussaint vacation, I spent three lovely, spontaneous days in Brussels with another assistant. Brussels is a city worth visiting, worth discovering the secrets hidden behind the EU big ugly building façade. There's Arabic and African neighborhoods, with delicious food and jazz cafes. There is also a cinematheque that shows silent slapstick comedies with live piano accompaniment for 3 euros. There is a GIGANTIC comics museum - seriously, this place is intense. Also, people speak an interesting mix of Nederlander, French and English, all of which are heard in the metros. 

I also went to Paris, which I happily realized is too intense for me. I did finally see the permanent Cinematheque exhibit though, dedicated to Henri Langlois. The weather was beautiful and I enjoyed spending time with Ratasha, her cousin and friend. I even spent some time with my current housemate Patricia, her boyfriend Hervé and his friend - it was funny to go to the Rodin museum for the 3rd time because for them, it was the 1st time!

Back in Lille, I've begun to settle into the teaching regime. It's more challenging than I thought because I have 12 hrs of totally separate classes - some of which I take on by myself - and I spend a lot of time planning lessons, as well as hopping from one school to another, sometimes in one day. One of my goals for the New Year is to become a more effective lesson planner because once I get into the classroom with at least *something* prepared, it usually works out OK. The 3éme 14-15 year olds are pretty tough to rein in - they're ready to get outta there, so they don't want to focus or pay attention to anything you throw at them. The 6éme 11-12 year olds and 4éme 13 year olds are better. Levels of English vary from class to class. For example, I recently saw a 3éme class that knows NOTHING, less than the youngest kids. Makes me wonder about the quality of teaching they're getting ;) What I don't like about taking on small classes by myself is never knowing when to speak French, getting laughed at for my accent/mistakes, and dealing with discipline. Also, at one school, I constantly have to remember when to pick up the kids from outside, when to get them from Study Hall, when they come meet me and which half of the class I'm taking. My schedule varies from week to week and it's difficult to keep track of all the kids, even with the lists I have. Even though I like most of the kids, I prefer the second school where I can concentrate on just teaching the lessons I prepare, which is challenging enough. My referring teacher agrees with me - that system works better. However, now that I'm getting the hang of it, hopefully I can start really improving.

I'm already thinking about renewing my contract next year, but of course, that's not up to me. And I can never be guaranteed a spot in Lille either. There are just so many things that I want to keep doing here - I want to work onstarting a Food Not Bombs chapter, volunteer at a cinema, work on an organic farm in the summer, keep practicing French, etc. etc. Even though it's far off, I can't imagine going back to the States in May and leaving everything hanging in the air. That's what's so tough about constantly moving around like I do: every time I start getting attached to a place/people, I get up and go on to the next place. I would like to actually build a community in Lille, if possible, and as a new person and especially as a foreigner, that really takes time. So I don't have illusions, but I'm trying to be as engaged as I can. Sometimes the assistantship actually gets in the way of that and sometimes I end up spending hours in my house. Which is not all that bad, because I do get to interact with my housemates, but they are out doing their own thing as well. So I plan on spending more time working at a local cafe, which my assistant friend and I just realized has free WIFI! It's a great little alternative coffeehouse/bar, with four floors and tons of events/flyers/fun people hanging around. Even though it can be discouraging, it usually pays off to go out as much as possible and put myself out there - eventually someone responds! 

Christmas Break is coming up in just 2 weeks! First I'm going to visit Ratasha in Athens and then.....????? I can't make up my mind on whether I want to go to Sofia, Bulgaria and then to Spain to stay with another assistant. Or come back to Lille for New Year's? Hopefully I can make a decision soon. In any case, it will be nice to travel again and see some warmer weather for a little while! Who knows what other crazy things this last month of 2010 will bring! :) 

Meanwhile, tonight I'm going to see a concert for free. One of my housemates talked me into joining a "montévideo," which takes a small group of people less than 26 and older than 55 and gets them into shows at the big venue called Aeronef. We get interviewed on camera and it's posted on the website - I'll send a link soon. I have to speak French and it's kind of intimidating, but also fun. The live music scene is alive and well in Lille and that's definitely a picker-upper during these cold winter months. The Vaselines, an old Scottish group, are coming at the end of January!